Saturday, March 3, 2012

Premature Teenaging

My toddler appears to be experiencing what I can only describe as premature teenaging.  It's weird and unpleasant.  And also a tiny bit funny.

He now regularly asks me to stop singing, stop dancing, or stop doing anything else that might be, like, TOTALLY embarrassing.  OMG, Mom.  He's getting smelly.  I constantly think about a friend telling me about a house she visited inhabited by two teenage boys.  Her one comment: "It smelled like balls and feet."  (Oh my god.  MY house is going to smell like balls and feet!)  Recently, when I ask him what he wants to eat, he says, "I don't know.  Just get me somefin."  Um, really?  And he's started trying to call me Mom instead of Mommy.  As in, "Mom.  Mom.  Mom.  MOM!"  "Mom" wears pleated khakis and has that weird, frizzy, mid-length, triangle bob.  I AM NOT MOM.  It feels bossy and premature and I hate it.

How did this happen?  He's not even three yet.  Do all toddlers go through this?

Or wait... does this mean he's getting it out of his system before junior high?  Cause that would be AWESOME.

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