Friday, June 17, 2011

Leaving On a Jet Plane

Oh. Dear. God.  In one hour, I am leaving on my first plane trip since having two kids.  I know this is not a big deal.  I know lots of people do this all the time.  I know I need to calm the hell down.  It's a straight-through flight and my husband will be with me.  Nonetheless, this trip terrifies me to the depths of my very soul.

Perhaps I'm frightened because the last time we were on a plane, my oldest son was 15 months and spent the majority of the flight hopping up and down on my husband's and my toes and hollering because we wouldn't let him run free.  This behavior was wildly unusual for him then.  Not so much now.  Perhaps I'm frightened because now he's two and he regularly hollers and hops up and down when he doesn't get his way.  Perhaps I'm frightened because our plane leaves at bedtime and we have to attempt to feed the toddler and the infant, then get them to sleep, only to wake them up when our flight lands at midnight.  Perhaps I'm frightened because my toddler- despite his toddlerness- is relatively easygoing.  My infant is not.  I fear him on this flight.  Perhaps I'm frightened because we will be driving a minimum of two hours every day of this trip.  Perhaps I'm frightened because I know neither child will get to nap or eat on their regular schedule.  We will be at the mercy of schedules and visits and people who don't remember what it's like to have two small children.  Perhaps I'm frightened because I know that all of this is a recipe for HELL.

Yup.  That's it.

I'll keep my fingers crossed and remember that if lots of people do this all the time, it can't be that bad.  Though I must say, I'm not optimistic.  Luckily, I'll be with my in-laws, so I can totally be myself and express any frustration I might have.  Oh... wait...

Saturday, June 11, 2011

This is my life.

Today I ate my lunch in my bath towel.  I hunched over my bowl of homemade broccoli slaw and cup of tomato soup and demolished both in under 10 minutes.  Why, you ask?  Because I am a (former?) teacher who learned to speed-eat during her luxurious 20 minute lunch periods.  Because I am the mother of a toddler and an infant who seem to know when I have warm food ready and choose that exact time to freak out.  Simultaneously.  Because just as lunch was ready and I brought some over to my husband, my infant started to cry.  Once I calmed him, I went to check on my toddler who had been chatting and jumping and singing since he'd been put down to nap over an hour ago.  What I found was one of the great horrors in any parent's life.

My son had pooped (it is now my life that I discuss poop... regularly) and had then stripped off all his clothes.  Or perhaps it was the other way around.  Anyway, noticing that said poop was starting to escape his diaper, my son apparently figured he should either check it out, or try to shove it back in the diaper.  Needless to say, things were unpleasant in there.  I will say, it could have been MUCH worse.  He was not actually playing with his poop, which may have caused me to projectile vomit, so that was good.  He is still in a crib, so the situation was contained and the damage was minimal, but poop is not meant to be anywhere but a diaper or a toilet.  Preferably the latter.  Potty training is nigh.

Anyway, the only remedy for such a situation was a shower, so I jumped into the shower with my toddler and scrubbed him down while my husband stripped the bed o' poo.  After the shower, I put him back into his clean bed (where he did not sleep).  Then my infant woke up and I had to calm him down and get him back to sleep.  At this point, it had been over an hour since I had made lunch in the first place and I knew needed to get ready to go to a friend's birthday party later.  Sooo... lunch in a towel in under 10 minutes.

Sometimes I can't believe the ridiculous things that happen in this house.  But, so it goes when you have kiddos.  Perhaps one day I'll eat a long, luxurious, warm meal at home... but I'm not holding my breath.

Friday, June 10, 2011

And So It Begins...

I've done it.  I've started a blog.  Apparently.  I'll fully admit that this feels strange and wildly narcissistic.  Sitting down to write my first post brings up every feeling of mediocrity I've experienced in the last 30 years.  What if I sound like an idiot?  What if it's boring?  Who cares what I have to say?  Apparently I care what I have to say, or I wouldn't be doing this.

I'm not sure what qualifies me to write a blog.  Does one need qualifications?  I am the mother of two boys- a toddler and an infant.  I am a high school English teacher who is either taking time off to raise her kids, or is running away screaming from the clusterfuck that is education.  Can't tell which yet.  Stay tuned.  I am a woman who is passionately in love with her husband and children, but sometimes wonders if she'll disappear in the life of a stay-at-home mom.  I am someone looking to maintain a passion for writing, so I'm giving it a shot.

I've always wanted to write.  I don't know that I've ever been particularly good at it, but I love it.  Sadly, my laziness and my insecurity have combined with "being busy" to create a powerful prophylactic, keeping me from writing much of anything in the last ten years.  But then I got pregnant.  Something about the crazy science experiment called pregnancy kick-started my desire to write.  Since becoming a mother for the first time two years ago and experiencing all the strangeness that motherhood brings with it, I've wanted to write even more.  Laziness and exhaustion still win most days (I could write, OR I could eat ice cream and watch E!), but the desire is there nonetheless.

In my imaginary world where reality doesn't exist, I'd like to write a book.  If time and money and exhaustion and talent were not factors, I would be a writer.  I'd LOVE to be able to say truthfully, "I'm a writer."  I've started writing a book, so in my delusional head it's a possibility.  But, since I only have 40 pages written and it's taken me almost two years to even start the blog I've been toying around with, I'll try my hand at this first and see where it gets me.

I've started a blog.  Now I just have to maintain it.  Shit.