Saturday, June 11, 2011

This is my life.

Today I ate my lunch in my bath towel.  I hunched over my bowl of homemade broccoli slaw and cup of tomato soup and demolished both in under 10 minutes.  Why, you ask?  Because I am a (former?) teacher who learned to speed-eat during her luxurious 20 minute lunch periods.  Because I am the mother of a toddler and an infant who seem to know when I have warm food ready and choose that exact time to freak out.  Simultaneously.  Because just as lunch was ready and I brought some over to my husband, my infant started to cry.  Once I calmed him, I went to check on my toddler who had been chatting and jumping and singing since he'd been put down to nap over an hour ago.  What I found was one of the great horrors in any parent's life.

My son had pooped (it is now my life that I discuss poop... regularly) and had then stripped off all his clothes.  Or perhaps it was the other way around.  Anyway, noticing that said poop was starting to escape his diaper, my son apparently figured he should either check it out, or try to shove it back in the diaper.  Needless to say, things were unpleasant in there.  I will say, it could have been MUCH worse.  He was not actually playing with his poop, which may have caused me to projectile vomit, so that was good.  He is still in a crib, so the situation was contained and the damage was minimal, but poop is not meant to be anywhere but a diaper or a toilet.  Preferably the latter.  Potty training is nigh.

Anyway, the only remedy for such a situation was a shower, so I jumped into the shower with my toddler and scrubbed him down while my husband stripped the bed o' poo.  After the shower, I put him back into his clean bed (where he did not sleep).  Then my infant woke up and I had to calm him down and get him back to sleep.  At this point, it had been over an hour since I had made lunch in the first place and I knew needed to get ready to go to a friend's birthday party later.  Sooo... lunch in a towel in under 10 minutes.

Sometimes I can't believe the ridiculous things that happen in this house.  But, so it goes when you have kiddos.  Perhaps one day I'll eat a long, luxurious, warm meal at home... but I'm not holding my breath.

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