I know, I know. This is shocking information. Try to contain your astonishment.
Apparently, I'm Debbie Downer instead. I've come to this realization, though it was probably obvious to everyone but me. I would never have described myself as an optimist (I was once called "Bubbly" by a friend's boyfriend and I resented him for it for years), but I have always been great at cheerleading for others. I can encourage and find the bright side and generally wax happy for anyone. Except myself. When it comes to my own life, I am decidedly pessimistic. Sullen, even. I cannot look on the bright side of my own life (although whistling this tune does help a lot:)
But life has been particularly redundant and decidedly unhelpful lately, and even whistling a Monty Python tune doesn't quite do it these days. And, as a result, I fear I'm bringing other people down with me. I think I'm becoming that grouchy person in the room that no one really wants to talk to, because they know it's all going to be bad news.
All of this to say (SEE!! SO Debbie Downer. Damn it.) that because I am in a place of blue that I can't quite squeak myself out of, I am going to write about the things I forget to focus on. Because life gets in the way and the littles are so little that their unpredictability throws me for a loop, and I forget to focus on all the wonder of their littleness. So today, I focus on that. The wonder. (Wonder Woman would totally kick Debbie Downer's ass, right?)
The Little One:
-He is now the same age his brother was when he was born. Whoa.
-He adores all things vehicle and plays trucks and cars and trains contentedly for what seems like hours sometimes. His siren sounds have become increasingly realistic (read: LOUD).
-His cackle is infectious and he is jolly as all hell... until he is mad as all hell. Then he is loud as all hell. Regardless, it is always impressive.
The Big One:
-He is a reader extraordinaire. He gets positively giddy when he receives a new book or one of his little magazines in the mail. I hope this never, ever goes away.
-He has started saying, "You're the best!" to me and Daddy. Of course, that means that neither one of us is actually the best, but I'll take it. WAY more pleasant than the other oft heard "GO AWAY."
-After a long, long, LONG battle with constipation, we might be starting to win (maybe?) and he is finally going to the bathroom regularly. Yesterday, he finally (FINALLY!!!) pooped on the potty of his own accord. If you have kids, you totally get why this is so exciting. If you don't, you are totally grossed out right now. Sorry.
I will come up with more later. In the meantime, it's enough to remind me that there is, absolutely, a bright side of life. Doo doo, doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo. The Wonder Woman in me will kick that Debbie's ass yet.
* Totally random side note: I had an incredibly awesome set of Wonder Woman underoos when I was little. I rocked them with such frequency and verve that my mom made me wristbands, a belt, faux boots, and that little crown/headband thing out of aluminum foil. And a little yarn lasso. It was awesome. Why can't we run around like that as adults?
I am reminded that ComicCon exists. Nevermind.
** UPDATE: Right after writing this, I found a post on a popular blog called Girl's Gone Child addressing a very similar feeling. Whoa. Good to know we are not alone in feeling... alone. And that the solution is sometimes as simple as time with a friend. Noted.