Tuesday, February 12, 2013

And This Is Why I Can't Keep Up With the Laundry

Here was my morning:

Me: Putting laundry in washing machine.
Little One: Taking laundry out of washing machine.
Me: Putting laundry in washing machine.
Little One: Taking laundry out of washing machine.

Me: Putting laundry in washing machine.
Little One: Taking laundry out of washing machine.
Me: Picking the Little One up and placing him outside the laundry room.
Little One: "WWWWWWAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!"

Me: Continue putting laundry in the washing machine.
Little One: Sneaking back into the laundry room to continue pulling laundry out of the washing machine.
Me: Removing the Little One from laundry room again.
Little One: "WWWWAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!"
Me: Turning washing machine on and adjusting controls according to desired washing result.
Little One: Sneaking back into the laundry room and pushing ALL OF THE BUTTONS so washing machine is now nowhere near desired washing result.

Me: Removing Little One's hands and resetting controls according to desired washing result.
Little One: Pushing all of the buttons again.
Me: Removing Little One's hands and resetting controls according to desired washing result.
Little One: Pushing all of the buttons again.
Me: Removing Little One's hands and resetting controls according to desired washing result.
Little One: Pushing all of the buttons again.

Me: Removing Little One from the laundry room again and placing laundry baskets in his way.
Little One: Throwing laundry baskets, and clean laundry therein, all over the hall whilst slamming adjacent bathroom door and yelling, "WWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!"
Me: Glaring.
Little One: "WWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!"

Me: Setting dryer according to desired drying results.
Little One: Climbing over laundry baskets and strewn laundry to dryer where he can commence pushing all of the buttons so dryer is now nowhere near desired drying result.
Me: Staring at Little One.  "No."  Removing Little One from laundry room.
Little One: "WWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!"

Me: Setting dryer again according to desired drying results.
Little One: Pushing all of the buttons again so dryer is nowhere near desired drying result.
Me: Setting dryer according to desired drying results and wondering why the "Lock Controls" button DOES NOT ACTUALLY LOCK ANYTHING AT ALL WHAT IN THE FUCKING HELL.
Little One: Pushing all of the buttons again so dryer is nowhere near desired drying result.

Me: Pushing start because who cares about the desired drying results kill me now oh my god.
Little One: "WWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!"
Me: Walking away and shaking head.  Contemplating noon drink.






2 comments:

  1. I see you your laundry conundrum and I raise you a hamper full of poopy cloth diapers. Imagine dealing with this while you literally have your child's crap on your hands. AWESOME!

    (Also, I miss you.)

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    Replies
    1. I never had the fortitude for cloth diapers. Parenthood already involves too much poop. You are a saint and Sweet Pea owes you some serious cuddle-time in return.
      (I miss you, too. Phone date soon?)

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